Literary doodle pad

Play-fight?

Physical contact, not in a sexual way necessarily, (that is talked about quite a lot…) but one of the things I don’t always know where to draw the line with is things like play fighting and just hanging out with friends. How much it is okay to be physically close… I am a very tactile person and if I like someone, even just as a friend, I want to express it by hugging them, play fighting with them, playing with their hair etc… most of this is generally deemed okay when I’m with my friends who are girls, but when i’m with guys, even if there’s really definitely nothing going on other than friendship it seems to be something that’s frowned upon, is it wrong that that is the way I express myself?

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Comments on: "Play-fight?" (6)

  1. poetryuntold said:

    Why do you want to draw a line? Why do you want to please the society? Just relax. The more worry about making a mistake, the more confused you will be. And for who? The thing is, we make a reputation of ourselves in our mind, it is some ridiculous mumbo-jumbo that we create to get a sense of existence. For eg: I am Catie, I look like this, I belong to this religion, I am shy, I am outgoing, I am weak, I am strong, I am better than her and worse than him. Why? Forget about all that, just be in the moment. Do what sets you free.

    • Well it’s not just about pleasing society but it’s about figuring out what is the right thing to do. Society isn’t the source of the standard but sometimes people can help you see where you’re possibly making mistakes… not always though. I don;t want to hurt other people and I don;t want to put myself in positions where i am needlessly hurt either. I also think that just being in the moment can lead to a lot of pain… either for ourselves or for others. We have to shake of the shackles of what we think others expect I agree and yet the thing that truly sets me free is to seek what God really wants me to do… because He truly knows best. But I can see what you are saying. :] xx

  2. To what standard are you basing? Does it matter much to know if we are right/wrong than to feel without a doubt that we are right/wrong? Hugggs and blessings to you 🙂

    • I think right and wrong does really matter… and for me the standard is what God wants me to do, you see if I were to try to do what I myself believe to be right based on what I feel, well I could change that just to suit every whim… there would be no consistency in my morality, and if on some occasion (for some unimaginable reason) it suited me to severely harm another person I could justify that by how I felt, but if I am aiming to glorify God with every choice I make… I can not change the right and wrong to suit my selfish desires. This is a bit heavy though perhaps… but that is why I care… because I believe God loves every person dearly… He can help me to live in a way where I avoid hurting others. :] Thank you. HUGS and Blessings to you too!! xxxx

  3. I think it’s important to express yourself in a way that is authentic and natural without worrying what society thinks, but it is also important to consider the others involved.

    Different people really are wired up differently and the interactions you have may affect them differently. You want to do the right thing by them. So that you don’t stir up unintended feelings in your male friends or give them the wrong impression it is important to be aware of differences in others and consider their feelings.

    I guess what I mean is you are wanting to express yourself, which involves transmission and reception. To express yourself, be aware of who you are transmitting to and understand how they receive. Express knowing their ways of receiving in ways they won’t misinterpret, and help them to understand how to receive by explaining to them the way you express.

    Treat them as brothers and sisters and don’t do things that could be misinterpreted by them as anything more. I think if you love then you will automatically do the right thing by putting their needs first.

    bless you Catie, sorry i rambled a bit there.

    • Thank you, I absolutely agree. Though I do feel sometimes like figuring it all out practically is a bit more complicated than theoretically… but perhaps that is because I need to be more reflective and less impulsive. I think the people who know me don’t misinterpret my perhaps slightly zealous greetings etc, but yes, being mindful of where others are at, especially when they have not known me as long and seen me in several contexts in order to know how I generally behave and communicate is worth bearing in mind. :] It’s always useful to have a canvas to bounce this stuff against, to remind me of what I really intend with my actions. :] xx

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