Literary doodle pad

Now and Not Yet

Droplets of self loathing seep

Down my cheek, toxically,

Mocking the ideal I keep;

Happy, humble, okay me


Acknowledge, again, with shuddered sigh,

Satan’s plentiful supply of lies,

Nipping doggedly at threadbare ties

Of truth, strength, hope and serenity


Comfort’s time-lag stutters on,

As in the darkest black of night

I know the dawn will surely come,

Should knowing so bring instant light?


Once the gold rays filter in,

Forgotten fear seems foolish now;

Victory has drowned my sin,

A crown by grace placed on my brow



Comments on: "Now and Not Yet" (4)

  1. So so good… praise God for the grace He gives us!!

  2. Heart-breakingly eloquently beautiful. Even if you didn’t mean to say what you said, I felt what I read. ❤
    I think my child is nerve raw ended. The conscientious consciousness of a heart that pumps on grace yet breaks with every broken reed needs some respite. Surely sanity sometimes sleeps or weeps in an insane world? When the comfort of cherishing by loved ones is a 'not yet' while the challenges are a constant 'now', it may take some 'for now' remedies to assist sleep, if sleep must be taken only in short allotted hours.
    I don't know if he would reconsider if you want to, the agreement? I know that sleep is considered a basic need, and to withhold it is unkind at best. Grace triumphs but pride does not and it takes wisdom to decide the right path. Behaving as if we are infallible and all the needs are met now as if Christ has given us golden tickets to escape our brokenness, whether physical or psychological may be pride, not courage or faith. Pray for discernment, and allow yourself come compassion. Have compassion on those who cannot see what you see, but don't therefore live under their condemnation if they have a different viewpoint/conclusion.
    God will never leave his children without bread! He will provide and we may be surprised by his gifts. Sleep and wakefulness to pray are both gifts but he is an orderly surpriser! I mean he doesn't allow us to predict his gifts, he is constructive in the outcomes when we receive them; we are not destroyed by them, but blessed and able to bless because of them.
    I love this Catie Eliza. She is unique and beautiful. xxxxxx

    • Wow. That’s an epic comment. I will reflect on the challenges/encouragements. I am really honoured what you are such a close friend and you understand me better than i do sometimes. hahah. I will pray. I love you so much. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. I updated my blog after a long time, glad you are still blogging

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