Literary doodle pad

Archive for the ‘Idle little nothings and a-musings’ Category

New Beginnings

Beginning from now I am going to:

  • Be able to say NO
  • Read my Bible every day
  • Work Hard
  • Rest Hard

I love sunny crisp days and spring. I love the joy and peace of walking in woods with the birth of new flowers. Thank you God.

This is not quite as beautiful as the bluebell wilderness that erupts in spring at home, but it really blessed me.

Crocus Joy in Spring


Physical contact, not in a sexual way necessarily, (that is talked about quite a lot…) but one of the things I don’t always know where to draw the line with is things like play fighting and just hanging out with friends. How much it is okay to be physically close… I am a very tactile person and if I like someone, even just as a friend, I want to express it by hugging them, play fighting with them, playing with their hair etc… most of this is generally deemed okay when I’m with my friends who are girls, but when i’m with guys, even if there’s really definitely nothing going on other than friendship it seems to be something that’s frowned upon, is it wrong that that is the way I express myself?

Empathy for the Tempest Rain

Rain, out of control, pounds

Against the ground, the roof, the wall,

In a furious, childish rage,

Just by being himself it can but fall

And in that moment I empathise

With Rain, he can’t be helped, at all.

He’s raw, honest and helpless;

People hate him for causing discomfort

But we need Rain to sustain, we confess,

Revitalisation that we thought we sought

Rebounds in his self destructive passion

Having with our blind rejection fought.

Moderation’s fingers lack the elasticity

Or strength to reach round Rain’s temperament;

In places none, in others beyond plenty,

And Rain’s tantrum was never meant 

To invoke beholder’s pity.

Well if aloof Sun should happen to break out,

Remember, stunted would growth be without Rain.

‘Cause even if at first you like the drought

In the end you’d see it lead to Pain.

Trashy Magazines

So why do we read trashy style magazines, or gossip magazines? What is it about them? Do you read Hello? More, OK or Elle? Personally I don’t think I’ve ever bought a fashion/style/gossip magazine, but I know I’ve scanned MANY.  In waiting rooms, in other people’s houses, in the sixth form common room I think I was first properly introduced to the onslaught of expectation and critique that is the women’s magazine industry.

It’s really odd, some deceptive headline catches your eye and you get drawn in, reading, judging, feeling judged…

It struck me it’s like boxing day, when you’ve been consistently full for about 24 hours, but somehow when someone waves a box of chocolates by you still take one. You know you’re not even a little bit hungry, and you know that you could really do without the calories, but somehow your brain bypasses the logic and you’re lured in by the temptation of those few moments where the caramel will feel smooth and taste good. You take one. It’s not nearly as enjoyable as you thought it would be. You feel a little bit sick and you look down at your belly and feel a bit repulsed. This is what it’s like with women’s magazines. A catchy title, an unsatisfying article, leaving you feeling fat, and guilty and wretched.

So what’s my point? Judging others isn’t fun. Seeking other people’s approval will never leave you feeling like you’ve fully succeeded. Momentary gratification is overrated.

Admiring beauty is fun and uplifting when kept in perspective. I hope to gain enough self control to choose the constructive and life giving things in life, and to resist the easy tempting moments. I’m gonna need help, but I think it’s worth it. :] xx


♦pink extraveganza♦

An honest fraction.

At one point I was running through some bluebells

and for just a couple of seconds I felt

I needed to stop running, and give up and cry,

I faltered for a microsecond,

then I kept running and I thought about other things.

So is it the untainted beauty of the ideal that prompts the pain of the less than ideal?


Wherefore do I dither?


Is totally frustrating

Do your work Catie!

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Haiku’s are good ’cause being limited to 5 7 5, you get to the point quickly; now to work.


Experimental celebration cooking

So I just finished an assignment, and as a result went downstairs and had a peek in my cupboard at my available ingredients, no eggs… so ordinary cake was out of the question
so instead I went for….

Sesame cinnamon vanilla flapjack loaf….. it’s in the oven now…. better go see how it’s doing. :] hahaha I am crazy sometimes. :]


So I took it out and put it back in a few times, but eventually turned the oven off and faced the kind and humourous mockery of my housemates. Unfortunately, my patience was somewhat lacking so I didn’t wait for it to cool properly before digging it out of the tin. Then I ate some and burnt my tongue. But it was tasty. :] I had planned to photo it and then you could all have a chortle at my disastrous non recipe usage, but i forgot, and it’s all gone now… maybe I should just take a photo of a fat bulge… that’s what it looks like now… hahaha  (too far?) haha.

So… on I plod with various bits of work and other tasks…. but you have to take a break and be a little bit mad every so often.

Best be off to bed now, gotta be up at six tomorrow. YAY! Got that end of  holidays, pre-return daunting feeling, even though the last few days have been work focussed anyway.

Work can be enjoyable though, in fact it’s meant to be a gift. :] xx xx xx

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