In the shadows deep and long
We hold mysterious secret gaze,
These crazy precious moments build
Strong foundations to last for always
You are not bad, you are not mean,
It’s simple, beautiful vulnerability
Which brings us both to this hard seam
Of raw dependence, you and me
The fiercest love, forged in raging flame,
Brokenness and beauty roughly bound,
We’ve a good thing here, there is no shame,
Let’s close our ears to the conformity game
Your sweet heaviness, your light brightness
Gently crumble my life’s walls
And in this brilliant messy rightness
New life and growth, adventure calls
If I could pay with any price
Even with my final breath,
You’re worth every sacrifice,
Truth revealed; love’s stronger than death
Archive for the ‘Loved ones’ Category
In the shadows deep and long
Pearly petals furled in pouting peace so perfect
Mighty little puffs of feisty life against my skin
Bright deep intimate soul windows, soul hands which we hold
Colourful melody on heartstrings of delighted vulnerability
A warm snug weight, fulfilling my arms and chest
Ringlet spirals down your cheek,
Half closed eyelids hide and seek
From and for the love,
For which you were created.
Loose your grip on lies of old,
Slip into the Saviour’s hold,
Bravely let the dance
Mold the truth into your stance.
Unfathomed depths, dip in your heart;
Ripple seen is just the start,
Weight of rushing power
Freeing, washing walls apart
Bridal beauty lies within
Unbridled; He’s extinguished sin,
Skies of light wherein
Potential fiercely soars and sings
Choosing to step onto rock,
Look not back, smash the lock,
You can and will be loved
Now and through eternity!
So let your gaze be lifted to
The one who loves to hear from you,
Praise will be the key;
Outwit deceit of enemy
Your voice was bestowed by the King,
A unique one, distinctive ring,
Lest the stones cry out,
Let the Princess her words bring!
If you can’t be bothered to read a long post, I’ll start with a summary:-
I went on my church weekend away and had a wonderful time and got a clearer idea of what covenant is and why it makes sense that Jesus dying on the cross means we can be forgiven. I think I am learning a lot about my relationship with God and the church’s relationship with Jesus through going out with Pete. End of summary. :]
This photo was taken while a big group of us went on a walk on our weekend away. It was an utterly beautiful day.
We looked at the truth in the Bible and the significance of the actions and promises of Jesus to our lives. Jesus and I are in a covenant. Because of this, we are ONE, despite also being two. Like marriage; one marriage, two people. Being one with Jesus is the only way it makes sense that when HE died on the cross, MY mistakes were forgiven. This is also why I can be hid with Christ in glory, why I can have, do have, eternal life. So the key is intimacy with Jesus, joining in that covenant that He offers us… becoming one with Him.
I don’t have the eloquence to explain why this was eye opening for me, I think it makes more sense because I feel more involved in the crucifixion now. It’s not another reason for me to feel guilty, it’s what sets me FREE from guilt. :]
Which leads me on to the next bit: I understand this covenant primarily because I think I understand marriage (to an extent). My mam and dad love each other and have made a lifetime commitment. They don’t make sense without each other, and whatever you do to one of them, you therefore do to the other. Because by their marriage they became one. If you hurt my mother, you hurt my father also, and if you are loving to my father, you are loving to my mother also. They’re pretty equal, they have different strengths and they have vowed to stand by each other no matter what; picking each other up when needed.
With Jesus and me, the covenant is different because Jesus is strong and perfect, and I am not. But actually, we do both love each other, and nothing can separate us. Jesus willingly became the sacrifice, for all that I do wrong, and more. He is not begrudging.
Which leads me on to Pete, and how being in a relationship with him is teaching me about God’s love. This bit is more embarrassing to talk about because it doesn’t paint me in a great light, and I also don’t want to come across as though I’m boasting because I have such a great boyfriend. I didn’t earn him, I am blessed by him. I’ll tell a story quickly to illustrate.
On Sunday night after getting back from the church weekend away I had to change the tyre on my bike. I had to leave the house at quarter past six the next day to catch a bus to Stockton and ten to seven for work. At about twenty to seven I got into town (nice and early) only to discover upon arrival that my bike lock WAS NOT ON MY BIKE!! *panic* Options flit in a wobbly way through my head; go to Wilko and buy one? Can’t it’s not open yet. Go home and get it? Don’t have time. Call Sam and Lizi? They won’t know the situation/be fast enough. Leave bike in town and hope? No, it will almost certainly get stolen. Jesus, what do I do? Call Pete. Try not to cry with relief when he answers on second ring. Garble in a shaky voice at top speed. Wait for Pete to BOMB it into town only just woken up. Leave bike and trust Pete to find it and keep it safe. Dash madly for bus. Receive text from Pete to say he has my bike safe and sound. Reflect on irrationally willing nature of Pete towards me.
But do you know what, Pete didn’t want me to try to retrospectively earn his rescue, and he didn’t love me less because he’d cycled so fast he felt sick and asthmatic and he actually said he ENJOYED being there for me at ANY hour of the day. And instead of managing to redeem myself, I went and got all over emotional about something and sobbed down the phone to him a couple on nights later at half past midnight. But instead of being dismissive and begrudging and he sought me out the next day with flowers and chocolate. I have to try to learn to receive this kind of sacrificial and loving behaviour. And obviously my response is that I want to love him back as much as I can. But not out of guilt, out of joy!! And this is exactly what I need to learn in my relationship with Jesus too.
Those words, three…
By Lovers’ Lane.
I’d fallen headlong,
Not that I’d known long,
Not with my brain.
You’d had a head-start,
Caught unawares my heart,
Those three remain.
x ♥ x
A tremor, faint, in your expression
Joins your half answer to my question;
One foot out I slow, I know,
Restraint’s an early mist on your emotion
A catch in your throat shows your struggle,
Heavy dew, light bloom aromas muddle
And with one cuddle, the honesty flows
While hopes and fears you juggle
I’m honoured when you share your heart,
Wind me by the climbers in your mind
To find your childlike courage when tears smart,
You blink away the weeds that try to bind
Beyond the quaint exterior, pearly paint,
The Secret Garden’s not so hard to enter,
Spirit’s fruit grow, love right at the centre,
Your roots ain’t like mine, but that’s adventure
‘Fore now your friendship’s taught me many things,
Of bold and thorny challenge; real love’s tough,
Praise ringing through the branches as you sing;
You’re precious and these words are not enough.
Only a gritty life could produce such treasure.
The words again in case the picture is not clear.
As a sun beam dances
Crisply through clear water,
So whispers He
Through His beloved daughter.
Her incandescent beauty;
The fruit of several years
Where gritty trials came,
Leaving precious souvenirs
Multitones of wisdom
Grace her precious words,
Radiant with perseverance,
Her strength is the Lord’s.
Subtle tell-tale creases outline your eyes
And my finger longs to linger there
To share the stories softly etched
Unbridled laughter, earnest trace of care
I press my lips against your rough worked hands;
I’m five again, and I can feel the chafe
Your palm, clean water on my back
I know its warmth, or yours, and I am safe
The very things that reveal your humanity
And seal the letters detailing your days
Singing boldly, shirking vanity
They warm my skin like summer morning rays.
Thank you God. I can’t tell the story. But it is one of redemption and freedom. I’m so grateful and hopeful. It’s about love, forgiveness, understanding, prayer, trust and compassion. Thank you… you know who you are. And thank you God. I can’t sleep and I got thinking about it again… but this time I felt gratitude, I love you, I miss you.
“I love you so much they hate you compared to how much I love you” – hahah this always makes me smile.